Someone Has to Rewrite My Evaluation on Day 37...

My mentor teacher ended up meeting with my administrator on Monday.  She then came and found me in class to tell me, "Uhh... Anonymous... he really does not get our model of special education."  So then she brought up the idea to ask the ninth grade administrator to become my administrator to do my observations since she totally gets it.  Unfortunately, the ninth grade administrator (although she really seemed to want to) told us she couldn't because if she did it for me, she'd have to do it for everyone.

Sooooo... to make a long story short, the ninth grade administrator understands and supports my role, we found out that the building principal understands and supports my role, as well as the higher ups over at central office.  So do you know what that means?  That means that the only person in this entire district who does not support my role, also happens to be my administrator.  Lucky me, huh?

Well fortunately for me, and unfortunately for him, he has to rewrite my entire evaluation report and pretend to support my role since it is, as I've already described, approved by administration and the state!

So remember what I said, all you Newbies out there!  Don't let just one person bring you down, because I can guarantee there is a large group of people who fully support what you do!  Including me!!!

Observations and Student Confessions on Day 33.

Let me preface this entry by stating what will soon become the obvious: Today was an emotional day.

My day started off with my first formal observation of the year.  I was really nervous, but as the class progressed, I honestly felt that it was going really, really well aside from a few bumps in the road.  The math teacher and I were working really well together, all of our students were participating and seemed to be enjoying the lesson, and I thought I would get a great review.  Thennnnnn the bell rang and my administrator called me over to the side of the classroom to tell me that he was "confused by our co-teaching model."  

As I had stated yesterday, he is the new administrator for the special education department, therefore he is not familiar with my role as one of the special education teachers in the ninth grade; it is very different from that of your "typical" teacher. Two years ago, the other two special education teachers I work with met with representatives from the state and administration to create a new special education model in the ninth grade to greater support and benefit our struggling students.  With this new model, we are able to be in each of our students' core classes (math, language arts, science, and social studies) to provide them with the support that they require.  While we allow the general education teacher to be the person who delivers the majority of the content, it is our role to support our students academically, behaviorally, and emotionally within that class.  With this model, we are also able to get to know our students very well since we see them so frequently, so when it comes time for their IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings, we truly know what is best for each of our students when making our recommendations.

So back to my administrator's "confusion", he said that he was used to a co-teaching model where both teachers had the "lead teacher" role, whereas what he was seeing was more of a lead teacher/support teacher model.  I then tried to explain to him that that was how the ninth grade model was designed, but he didn't seem too interested in listening to me and said that he would have to schedule a meeting for us to continue our discussion since he had other places to be.  I was left with a feeling of disappointment, as if he viewed what I do as being less important than that of a lead, general education teacher.  To be honest, I was left with the feeling of being punched in the stomach.

I ended up talking with my mentor teacher afterwards via text messages since she was out today, and she made me feel a lot better and told me that I was doing a great job.  She also told me that she thinks it would be a good idea for all three of us ninth grade special education teachers to sit down with our new administrator to explain to him what it is that we do exactly.

So here is my first New Teacher Tip of the Day: As a first year teacher, your school will more than likely set you up with a mentor teacher, so form a really good relationship with yours!  They will play a huge role in your success of becoming an educator; I consider my mentor teacher one of my best friends from work and we are able to talk about anything and everything.  I really don't know how I would have survived my first year without her!

So now let's move on to my next story for today, I promise it's not as long as my last!  I had quite a few students stay after with me today, and one student in particular asked me if he could talk to me about something personal.  So I sat down with him and he informed me that he started going to student support services regularly as a request from his mother because she had noticed how insecure he is with himself.  He then went on to tell me how much he hates himself because of how dark his skin is and because he has been questioning his sexuality.  I couldn't help but really feel for this student.  As I've said before, being a teenager is hard enough, but with all of the added pressure in today's society, it can make things even more difficult.  Recently in the news, we have heard of an alarming number of teen and young adult suicides due to issues with sexuality.  I hope that this student, throughout this year and the rest of his high school career, continues to remain comfortable enough to come to me when he feels that he needs to talk.  And to be honest, I felt honored that he felt he could come to me today.  Times like these are when I realize that regardless of what administration may say about my role as an educator, I know that I am making a difference in students' lives.  And that is what matters most.

So here is your second New Teacher Tip of the Day: Don't ever let someone make you feel unimportant because to some students, you may be the most important and influential person in their lives.

Day 32.

Today, the social studies teacher I co-teach with said, "I need a highly intelligent person to help me with this next task."  One of my students then yelled out, "I don't even know what the hell that means."  The social studies teacher responded with, "It means I need a really smart person to help me."  My student then quickly responded with, "Oh... well that ain't me!"  I couldn't help but laugh, but feel kind-of bad at the same time!  So here is my first New Teacher Tip of the Day for you: No matter how much your students struggle, make sure you give them a TON of positive verbal praise on a regular basis for all of the things that they are successful with, no matter how small.  Even if they are just successful with attempting a task and not necessarily completing it, they still deserve praise for their efforts!

Alright, so moving on to what I'm nearly having a heart attack about: tomorrow is my first formal observation of the year with my new administrator and needless to say, I'm freaking out about it.  I did really well last year and formed a really great relationship with my administrator, however he ended up leaving unexpectedly in the middle of the year without an explanation from anyone as to why.  Strange?  Yes, I'd have to agree with you on that one.  So anyways, I now have a new administrator who I do not know well at all, and it makes me really nervous because I have no idea how he will be evaluating me.  Hopefully all will go well!  I will definitely let you know tomorrow.  Until then, here's my second Newbie Tip: Observations are always going to be nerve wracking.  Just remember that it's completely natural to freak out and that in approximately 90 minutes, the whole thing will be done and over with!

Gettin' Down With The Sickness on Day 27...

One thing I have come to learn about being a teacher is that it is a profession that will seriously boost your immune system, but completely tear you down in the process.  In the past few years I have come down with bronchitis, strept throat, and other various viruses, and it looks as if it is that time of the year again, as I've managed to come down with a serious head cold.

Upon getting home from work today, I consumed 1,787% of my daily value of Vitamin C in the attempt to rid myself of this cold.  There really is no way to avoid getting sick when you share a building for 8 hours a day with 2,500 students and 250 adults; it's just a part of our job.  So here is my tip for you n00bs: HAND SANITIZER! HAND SANITIZER! HAND SANITIZER!  Buy it, use it, embrace it; it will become your best friend in getting through the fall/winter months.

Students Struggling With Change on Day 25...

Over the weekend I decided that I was sick of being/paying a hairdresser to make me be blonde, so I dyed my hair brown.  Well... let me rephrase that... I planned on dying my hair brown but it ended up coming out closer to black.  It really doesn't look all that bad, just different from before.  So anyways, as I arrived at school today, I expected my students to say things like, "Oh my God Miss!  Look at your hair, it looks great!"  Instead, the reactions I received were as follows:

"Miss... what happened to you?"
"Miss Anonymous, you look like a damn witch now."
"What is on your head?  You look like a black haired evil white lady!"
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF?!"

Needless to say, my students did not enjoy the change.  So here is your New Teacher Tip of the Day: Don't be afraid of change just because your kids are.  It's good to spice things up every once in a while!

Dealing with Strange Stories on Day 22...

I have a student whose primary diagnosis is a specific learning disability (SLD), however I think there is a bit more going on inside of that head of hers than what meets the eye.  She seems to regularly tell stories inside of her head, forget that she hasn't been talking aloud, and then finish her story by telling it to me directly.  For example, the other day as I was showing her where the main office was, she says to me, "... and then my cat will eat it."  Another time, while in class, she approached me and said, "... and she used to let my cousins and I sit on her lap."  At first, I would respond with, "Wait... what?" and then just look at her while she stared at me blankly with a smile on her face.  I've now learned to just roll with it and respond by saying "Oh really?  That's nice."  So far it's worked like a charm.

However, the other night I received a call from her mother.  Here is how the conversation went:

*RING*RING*RING*
Me: Hello?
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother: Hi.
Me: Umm... hi, who is this?
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother: *mumble*mumble*mumble*
Me: I'm sorry, I can't hear you.  Who is this again?
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother: Miss Anonymous?  Miss Anonymous???  This is StrangeStoryTeller's Mother.
Me: Ohhh... I'm sorry!  Hi StrangeStoryTeller's Mother!
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother: Hi.
Me: Umm... how are you?
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother: Why did you call me?
Me: I'm sorry?  I... uhh... I didn't call you.
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother: Yes you did.
Me:  Umm... did you have a missed call from the high school?
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother:  No, you just called me and left me a message saying that my daughter wanted you to call me.
Me: Umm... uhh... Did you just get a message from me?
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother: Yeah, I just missed your call a few minutes ago.  I'm confused as to why you're calling me.
Me: Yes... well... umm... I'm confused too because I haven't used my phone at all since getting home from work today.  I think I may have called you about 3 weeks ago because StrangeStoryTeller had said you wanted to talk to me, but I didn't just call you now.
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother: Uhhh... oh.  Ok.  Sorry.  Bye.
Me: *Nervous Giggle* It's alright, is there anything that is concerning you?  StrangeStoryTeller is doing really well in her classes so far!
StrangeStoryTeller's Mother:  No, thanks, bye.
Me: Oh... ok... have a good night...


I think it's pretty apparent, through that conversation alone, that the saying "Like mother, like daughter" holds very true in this situation.  It was such a bizarre and awkward conversation, I really didn't know what to do with it.  So here's your New Teacher Tip of the Day:  Be prepared!!!  If you think your students can be strange, just wait until you meet their parents!

Ripping Out My Hair On Day 20

KidWhoHatesWriting seems to be back to his old ways, and they are exhausting.  Today he refused to do his math and vocabulary quizzes and then said, "Shut up you faggot!" to another student.  Now before I go on, let me explain to you how much I HATE that word.

I have developed, what I like to call, "bombs"; my students know what they are and know not to use them around me.  The two most common "bombs" are the R-Bomb and the G-Bomb: the R-Bomb being retard and the G-Bomb being gay.  I hate having to hear students call each other "retarded" or "gay", so whenever I hear it I yell out, "WHOAAA!!! WATCH IT WITH THE [R or G] BOMB!!"  I then explain to them how insensitive and disrespectful those terms are and, not to mention, how they really do not make any sense within the context that they are being used.  All of my students, both last year and this year, have responded really well to it and I've even heard them saying to each other, "Dude, Miss Anonymous is in here, you can't say the G-Bomb around her!"  So, since I hate the words "retard" and "gay", you can only imagine how much I hate the word "faggot".

So as soon as I heard KidWhoHatesWriting say it, I instantly sailed into him.  (I threw that in for you, Dad!)  I told him to never use that word in front of me, how it is extremely disrespectful and degrading, and that he needed to return to his seat and control himself.  This made him angry, so he refused to do any of his classwork for the rest of the period.  Once the bell rang, he got up, left all of his papers on his desk and started to head for the door.  As he passed me I said, "KidWhoHatesWriting, make sure you take your classwork with you."  He ignored me and continued past me.  I then repeated myself, only a little louder, and then watched him ignore me even further and walk out of the classroom.  Now what he probably forgot was the fact that I am in the next class with him, so as he walked out of the door thinking that by ignoring me and pretending not to have heard me, he was getting away with completely disrespecting me, I knew we were going to have to have a further conversation.

At this point, I was extremely frustrated, but I knew I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down before confronting him in our next class.  I took my time walking to the next class to allow myself to gather my thoughts and clear my head.  So after entering the classroom, I let KidWhoHatesWriting know that because of the offensive language he had used and because he had blatantly disrespected me by ignoring me while leaving the room, he was going to have to serve a detention with me this week.  I told him that because I don't know what his schedule is like outside of school, I would give him the option to choose which day would work best for him.  His response was, "I'm not choosing a day because I'm not staying for your detention."  I then responded with, "Well, then I'll just go give your mother a call right now to discuss it with her."  And that is exactly what I did.  She informed me that she would talk to him as well as his father and to let him know that not serving a detention was not an option.  His father then called me around 6:30 this evening to get the full story as well.  So my hopes are that if KidWhoHatesWriting, hears our concerns both in and out of school, he will get his act together sooner rather than later.

Soooo this brings me to my New Teacher Tip of the Day:  Buy a wig to disguise your bald head, because  you are bound to pull out every last strand of your hair.