Someone Has to Rewrite My Evaluation on Day 37...

My mentor teacher ended up meeting with my administrator on Monday.  She then came and found me in class to tell me, "Uhh... Anonymous... he really does not get our model of special education."  So then she brought up the idea to ask the ninth grade administrator to become my administrator to do my observations since she totally gets it.  Unfortunately, the ninth grade administrator (although she really seemed to want to) told us she couldn't because if she did it for me, she'd have to do it for everyone.

Sooooo... to make a long story short, the ninth grade administrator understands and supports my role, we found out that the building principal understands and supports my role, as well as the higher ups over at central office.  So do you know what that means?  That means that the only person in this entire district who does not support my role, also happens to be my administrator.  Lucky me, huh?

Well fortunately for me, and unfortunately for him, he has to rewrite my entire evaluation report and pretend to support my role since it is, as I've already described, approved by administration and the state!

So remember what I said, all you Newbies out there!  Don't let just one person bring you down, because I can guarantee there is a large group of people who fully support what you do!  Including me!!!

Observations and Student Confessions on Day 33.

Let me preface this entry by stating what will soon become the obvious: Today was an emotional day.

My day started off with my first formal observation of the year.  I was really nervous, but as the class progressed, I honestly felt that it was going really, really well aside from a few bumps in the road.  The math teacher and I were working really well together, all of our students were participating and seemed to be enjoying the lesson, and I thought I would get a great review.  Thennnnnn the bell rang and my administrator called me over to the side of the classroom to tell me that he was "confused by our co-teaching model."  

As I had stated yesterday, he is the new administrator for the special education department, therefore he is not familiar with my role as one of the special education teachers in the ninth grade; it is very different from that of your "typical" teacher. Two years ago, the other two special education teachers I work with met with representatives from the state and administration to create a new special education model in the ninth grade to greater support and benefit our struggling students.  With this new model, we are able to be in each of our students' core classes (math, language arts, science, and social studies) to provide them with the support that they require.  While we allow the general education teacher to be the person who delivers the majority of the content, it is our role to support our students academically, behaviorally, and emotionally within that class.  With this model, we are also able to get to know our students very well since we see them so frequently, so when it comes time for their IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings, we truly know what is best for each of our students when making our recommendations.

So back to my administrator's "confusion", he said that he was used to a co-teaching model where both teachers had the "lead teacher" role, whereas what he was seeing was more of a lead teacher/support teacher model.  I then tried to explain to him that that was how the ninth grade model was designed, but he didn't seem too interested in listening to me and said that he would have to schedule a meeting for us to continue our discussion since he had other places to be.  I was left with a feeling of disappointment, as if he viewed what I do as being less important than that of a lead, general education teacher.  To be honest, I was left with the feeling of being punched in the stomach.

I ended up talking with my mentor teacher afterwards via text messages since she was out today, and she made me feel a lot better and told me that I was doing a great job.  She also told me that she thinks it would be a good idea for all three of us ninth grade special education teachers to sit down with our new administrator to explain to him what it is that we do exactly.

So here is my first New Teacher Tip of the Day: As a first year teacher, your school will more than likely set you up with a mentor teacher, so form a really good relationship with yours!  They will play a huge role in your success of becoming an educator; I consider my mentor teacher one of my best friends from work and we are able to talk about anything and everything.  I really don't know how I would have survived my first year without her!

So now let's move on to my next story for today, I promise it's not as long as my last!  I had quite a few students stay after with me today, and one student in particular asked me if he could talk to me about something personal.  So I sat down with him and he informed me that he started going to student support services regularly as a request from his mother because she had noticed how insecure he is with himself.  He then went on to tell me how much he hates himself because of how dark his skin is and because he has been questioning his sexuality.  I couldn't help but really feel for this student.  As I've said before, being a teenager is hard enough, but with all of the added pressure in today's society, it can make things even more difficult.  Recently in the news, we have heard of an alarming number of teen and young adult suicides due to issues with sexuality.  I hope that this student, throughout this year and the rest of his high school career, continues to remain comfortable enough to come to me when he feels that he needs to talk.  And to be honest, I felt honored that he felt he could come to me today.  Times like these are when I realize that regardless of what administration may say about my role as an educator, I know that I am making a difference in students' lives.  And that is what matters most.

So here is your second New Teacher Tip of the Day: Don't ever let someone make you feel unimportant because to some students, you may be the most important and influential person in their lives.

Day 32.

Today, the social studies teacher I co-teach with said, "I need a highly intelligent person to help me with this next task."  One of my students then yelled out, "I don't even know what the hell that means."  The social studies teacher responded with, "It means I need a really smart person to help me."  My student then quickly responded with, "Oh... well that ain't me!"  I couldn't help but laugh, but feel kind-of bad at the same time!  So here is my first New Teacher Tip of the Day for you: No matter how much your students struggle, make sure you give them a TON of positive verbal praise on a regular basis for all of the things that they are successful with, no matter how small.  Even if they are just successful with attempting a task and not necessarily completing it, they still deserve praise for their efforts!

Alright, so moving on to what I'm nearly having a heart attack about: tomorrow is my first formal observation of the year with my new administrator and needless to say, I'm freaking out about it.  I did really well last year and formed a really great relationship with my administrator, however he ended up leaving unexpectedly in the middle of the year without an explanation from anyone as to why.  Strange?  Yes, I'd have to agree with you on that one.  So anyways, I now have a new administrator who I do not know well at all, and it makes me really nervous because I have no idea how he will be evaluating me.  Hopefully all will go well!  I will definitely let you know tomorrow.  Until then, here's my second Newbie Tip: Observations are always going to be nerve wracking.  Just remember that it's completely natural to freak out and that in approximately 90 minutes, the whole thing will be done and over with!

Gettin' Down With The Sickness on Day 27...

One thing I have come to learn about being a teacher is that it is a profession that will seriously boost your immune system, but completely tear you down in the process.  In the past few years I have come down with bronchitis, strept throat, and other various viruses, and it looks as if it is that time of the year again, as I've managed to come down with a serious head cold.

Upon getting home from work today, I consumed 1,787% of my daily value of Vitamin C in the attempt to rid myself of this cold.  There really is no way to avoid getting sick when you share a building for 8 hours a day with 2,500 students and 250 adults; it's just a part of our job.  So here is my tip for you n00bs: HAND SANITIZER! HAND SANITIZER! HAND SANITIZER!  Buy it, use it, embrace it; it will become your best friend in getting through the fall/winter months.

Students Struggling With Change on Day 25...

Over the weekend I decided that I was sick of being/paying a hairdresser to make me be blonde, so I dyed my hair brown.  Well... let me rephrase that... I planned on dying my hair brown but it ended up coming out closer to black.  It really doesn't look all that bad, just different from before.  So anyways, as I arrived at school today, I expected my students to say things like, "Oh my God Miss!  Look at your hair, it looks great!"  Instead, the reactions I received were as follows:

"Miss... what happened to you?"
"Miss Anonymous, you look like a damn witch now."
"What is on your head?  You look like a black haired evil white lady!"
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF?!"

Needless to say, my students did not enjoy the change.  So here is your New Teacher Tip of the Day: Don't be afraid of change just because your kids are.  It's good to spice things up every once in a while!