Let's Talk Transition...

The transition specialist came to speak to my kids today during our resource period.  I'm not quite sure whether or not she felt she got anywhere with them...

Transition Specialist: "What type of job do you think someone who likes to work with their hands would do?"

Student: "Find dead bodies."

Transition Specialist: "..."

Yeah.  Happy Friday.

Goal Incomplete.

Well I didn't reach my goal of enjoying my job today.

Two of my closest friends at work decided to apply elsewhere because they no longer want to work for my district.  They'll be gone and happier at a different district by the end of the school year.  Awesome.

Then one of my students, who we'll call LockUp, told his technology teacher to "Suck my c*ck!" and then, later on in the day, called my tutor a "b*tch" after she had asked him to return to his seat.  I then learned that the reason why LockUp is on probation is because he was arrested for and charged with grand larceny as an adult, after stealing a car.  If he violates his probation, he is looking at a maximum of four years in jail.  So why, do you ask, is he in a public school and not in some sort of alternative program?  I have no idea.

I have no tips for today.  I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed.  I don't know how I'm going to survive this year...

A REAL HIGH FIVE?!

Throughout today I had two different students tell me that they hated me.  But, after having a heart to heart with each of them about what was really going on in their teenage angst ridden lives, they admitted that I was their favorite teacher.  Ha!  I win again.

Also, the behavior point sheets are working like a freakin' miracle with Howie!  He has been absolutely perfect for 3 days straight.  He also actually made CONTACT with my hand during a high five today.  Usually we do air high fives because he doesn't like touching other peoples' hands.  But today, he was so excited with how well he had done, that he gave me an actual high five while screaming about how good he was.  It was awesome.  Today was pretty much the best day I've had since the school year started.

My goal for tomorrow is to try to enjoy my job again.  We'll see how that goes.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: Let your kids know that you care about them, they'll respond in ways you wouldn't expect.

This Pencil Isn't Sharp Enough...

While in the middle of a meeting today, I got a phone call from one of the technology teachers who stated, "I have Howie down here and he is refusing to do his work.  He just threw the worksheet I gave him onto the ground and then ripped it up... with his feet."  Awesome way to start my morning.  So I had him send Howie down to me.  Once he arrived at my office, I asked him what had happened.  He explained that the work that was given to him was too difficult, so he blew it off of his desk and then ripped it up with his feet.  Never touched it once with his hands.  Impressive.  So I went over the alternatives to his reactions and explained how he should have raised his hand and asked for help blah, blah, blah...

So at the conclusion of my small lecture, I decided that it'd probably be best for Howie if I put him onto a behavior point sheet.  I then let him know that if he earns enough points for good behavior, he'll be rewarded with computer time during our resource period.  He got all excited and exclaimed, "Hey I know!  How about I start doing my work now then?"  Great!  So we got some assignments together and he began working.  The only problem was that he likes to use pencils.  But he can only write with a pencil when the tip is as sharp as humanly possible.  So every few minutes or so, he got up, walked over to the electric pencil sharpener and sharpened his pencil.  After about 20 minutes, he asked me for a new pencil because this is what it looked like... after only 20 minutes:

Needless to say, #4 on his behavior checklist is: "Sharpened pencil no more than two times during the class period."

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: Behavior point sheets are your friend.

**SIDE NOTE**

Open House was tonight and I met Howie's mother... everything about him made sense the second I spotted her and she began to speak... I'll just leave it at that...

Apparently I Look Like A Homeless Person... But Only While I Work...

Last week I told Shoelace that if he promised to take his medication for ADHD on Monday, I would go to his church's softball tournament on Saturday.  He agreed and made me pinky promise him I'd be there on Saturday.  (I never break my pinky promises!)  So when Saturday morning came around, I rolled out of bed and dragged my fiancee with me to the park to watch him play.  When we arrived, we realized that we were #1 the only white people and #2 the only people there who did not speak Spanish.  Even the announcer over the loud speakers was announcing every play in Spanish!  We both felt totally out of our element, but we ended up having so much fun!  It was really cool to see how Shoelace interacted outside of school with members of his family and church.  He was also so excited to see that I had actually showed up to see his game.  His team ended up losing (pretty miserably), but I could tell that he had a lot of fun and that he really appreciated that we had actually gone.

So today, when I saw Shoelace first period, he thanked me again for going to his game over the weekend and then asked me why I dress so nice when I'm out of work.  Confused, I asked him what he meant.  He replied, "Miss, you looked so pretty at my game and you had on nice clothes.  But here at school you come to work wearing that stuff [points to my work clothes] and you look like a bum."

When I went to Shoelace's game, I literally rolled out of bed, climbed in my car, and bought a cup of coffee to look somewhat alive.  I was wearing leggings, boots, a giant t-shirt, and a hoodie.  I also hadn't showered and my hair was a hot mess, so I wore a baseball cap.  Today at work, I was wearing gray slacks, a nice black sweater, and my hair was pulled back.  But according to Shoelace, I looked like a bum!!!

So on top of unintentionally insulting me, he ended up being too distracted at home this morning to remember to take his meds.  So he was off the wall all day long.  Needless to say, it was exhausting.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day:  You can't always rely on your students to keep their promises, but you have to make sure to never break the ones that you make.  For many students, you are the only adult in their life that they know they can count on.

Journal Entry:

I have my students journal for 10 minutes at the beginning of each of our resource periods.  I then read their entries and respond back to them in their journals.  They never cease to amaze me...

In response to my question, How are you liking high school so far?:

"Is good you feel me
I like the fat girls out there I like
when they bitchy
I like when they look like rasputtia I think
they're so freaking sexy"

I'm so pleased to hear that he is enjoying his time with us so far.  Oh and just in case you aren't familiar with who Rasputia is, here's a picture for you:

Things That Actual Students Have Said To Me This Week:

"B*tch, who do you think you're talking to?!"

"I'll sit down... after I finish my conversation."

"I'm not being disrespectful... I'm being rude.  There's a difference."

"Shut up!"

We had all been told that this year's ninth graders were going to be a tough group, but these kids really have taken it to a whole new level.  We even prepared for this year by creating an alternative team for the students who we knew, based on the data we received from the middle school, were going to be a problem.  The quotes that I just gave to you were said by students who weren't "bad" enough to make it onto the alternative team.  So yeah.  This is going to be a long year.  Maybe even longer than last year...

Quote of the Day:

"Miss Anonymous, you're my favorite teacher, but I hate your class."  Cool.  Thanks.

No One Will Want A Detention With Me Ever Again...

My students were awful today and a group of three boys ended up serving a detention with me after school.  During that detention, a teacher friend of mine (who is 39 weeks pregnant) came in to chit chat with me.  While in my office, her water broke all over the floor, gushing down her legs and soaking her pants.

Needless to say, I doubt those boys will ever want to serve a detention with me again.  Lesson learned.

Scary Senior Sisters...

Well as today came to an end, I thought to myself, "Hmm... nothing blog worthy really happened today."  I clearly had spoken too soon.

With 20 minutes left to the school day, a male student called one of my female students a whore.  So she did what any misguided 14 year old girl would do: punched him square in the face.  He then instantly took out his phone and began texting his older, larger, scarier sisters.

So as I'm sitting with RightHook down in the administrator's office taking her statement, I hear the boy's sisters storm into the office at the opposite end and begin screaming that they "want to see what this b*tch looks like".  So I take RightHook into a different room and close the door behind us as she begins to weep and say, "MISS DON'T LET THEM GET ME! I'M SCARED!"  I kept reassuring her that she had nothing to worry about, but let's be honest here, I was about to poop my pants as well.  I didn't actually see the other girls, but they sounded scary... and very large.

So the administrator comes into the room that we're in as security holds back the sisters, and tells me that he wants me to escort RightHook to the main office on the other side of the building where her mother is going to pick her up.  Great.  So as we walk into the hallway, one of my security guard buddies comes up to me and tells me that the girls are trying to find her and that I need to take an alternative route to the main office to try to avoid them.  He then goes over the walkie-talkies and tells all of security to be on alert for two girls wearing grey sweatpants.  As we walked to the other end of the building, I flinched and nearly pooped my pants every time I saw a big hispanic girl with grey sweatpants.  Luckily, we made it there safe and sound and I waited with her until her mother, who was not pleased at all, came to get her.  On Monday I'll learn what RightHook's fate was, I'm assuming administration will make their decision over the weekend as to how long she'll be suspended for.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day:  Don't show fear.  Poop your pants in silence.

Flowers Are A Girl's Best Friend...

Today was a tough day.  A class of 17 students with differing ability levels can be difficult in and of itself, but when all 17 students also have disabilities, it can become exhausting.  No matter how hard I tried, I just could not get my kids under control during our resource period.  I was so frustrated that I ended up handing out 7 detentions.  Hopefully when we meet again, I'll be able to split the group up and work in two separate rooms: one group with me and one with my tutor.  My hopes are that with the smaller group sizes, we'll be able to manage their behaviors a little better.  We'll see.  I'll keep you posted.

So anyways, like I had said, today was pretty tough.  I was down in the dumps and pretty much just annoyed all around... until I found this on my desk:

At first, I had no idea where it had come from or who it belonged to.  Not too long after I found it, one of my favorite students from two years ago came into my room and told me that they were from him and for me.  I gave him a hug and asked him what they were for.  He then said, "Miss, you're still the best teacher I've ever had.  That's why I got them for you.  Thanks for always being there."

He was a student, who we'll call Sonic because of his silly spiky hair, who couldn't read at all, but with my help his freshmen year was able to become extremely successful and make honor roll despite his learning disability.  I called him my golden child; he could do no wrong in my eyes.  Unfortunately, last year when he became a sophomore and received a new case manager, he and his grades went down hill.  He got involved with the wrong crowd, he wasn't receiving the support that he needed in his classes, and he began skipping school regularly.  Despite the very poor attitude he developed with everyone around him, he would still come to see me.  I always reminded him of how well he had done the previous year and how smart he was despite the difficulties he often faced.  I knew the real Sonic, not the fake tough guy facade that he put on for everyone else.  By the end of last year, he finally realized how much his attitude and actions effected him when he was informed that he was going to be repeating the tenth grade.  I explained that sometimes it takes kids more than four years to finish high school and that that was ok, I also told him that this was the perfect opportunity for a fresh start.  He agreed.  And so far, he has taken full advantage of the opportunity.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: At some point in your career, you'll meet a student who will truly appreciate all of your hard work.  You'll change their life, but more importantly, they'll change yours.

Kids Curious About Kids...

Shoelace: "Miss Anonymous, when a girl is having twins or triples, how do they push all of the babies out of them at the same time without dying?"

Me: "Well... the babies only come out one at a time..."

Shoelace:  "Oooohhh!  Well that makes more sense than what I was thinking happens.  Have you had any kids yet?"

Me: "Nope."

Shoelace:  "Miss, when you have a kid, are you gonna doo-doo yourself?"

**BELL RINGS**

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: Saved By The Bell was based on a true story... the one I just told you.

Creepy Death Stare Works Like A Charm

Today one of my students who is extremely tall and athletic, who we'll call Football, sat in the back of my resource room and pretended to perform oral sex on an imaginary you- know-what to get some laughs from his peers.  He clearly was oblivious to the fact that I was glaring at him until he and his friends turned around and met my stare of death.  What I wanted to do at that moment was scream at him about how disgusting he was, but I didn't.  As all of his friends began laughing hysterically because they knew Football had just been caught, I just continued to glare at him and make him feel very uncomfortable.  Eventually all of his friends who were laughing at first, quickly began to quiet down and look back and forth between myself and Football as I continued my death stare.  Right as I could sense that everyone was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the silence, I very calmly said, "Football, can you please go stand out in the hallway?"

New Teacher Tip of the Day: Sometimes acting really creepy and calm totally freaks the kids out.  The second we got into the hallway, Football began apologizing and promised it would never happen again and when we reentered the classroom, the remaining students continued to work in silence.  The death stare works like a charm.

"1.) Ask Miss Anonymous For Help"

Today in Science, I met Shoelace for the first time.  He's a pretty large, tough looking hispanic kid with a mohawk who, when I first introduced myself to him, I felt a little bit intimidated by.  Needless to say, that didn't last very long.  The assignment was to write, in detail, how one ties his or her shoe.

As soon as the students began their assignment, Shoelace already had his hand raised.  When I went over he asked, with a huge grin on his face, "Miss, are you in the class to help me?  Because I'm retarded."  After reassuring him that he was not retarded and that I wasn't there for just him, but for all of the students because many ninth graders struggle with Science, he replied, "Nahh... I'm retarded.  Can you help me?  I don't know how to write this, my Mom always ties my shoes."  Now you have to understand, if this was a child who had very significant disabilities, I would not laugh at all.  But when this big tough hispanic kid, who is obviously well liked by all of his peers said this, I couldn't help but start laughing.  Luckily, he wasn't offended and admitted that he knew how to tie his shoes, but that his Mom always said that he tied them too loose, so she's been tying them for him.  So I told him to get started and to try his best, and I'd be back in a little while to check on him.

About 5 minutes later, after making my rounds around the classroom, I made it back to Shoelace.  He had one step written down, "1.) Ask Miss Anonymous for help."

New Teacher Tip Of The Day:  Remember each of the funny little things that happen to you throughout the day.  Those little moments are what make what we do totally worth it.

New Year... Fresh Start...

I'm back, and I'm hoping to be better at blogging this year than I was last.

Last year was a really tough year for me.  It was my second year of teaching and it made me totally question if what I was doing was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.  After the riot in December, tons of dramatic political banter followed.  Parents became enraged, teachers felt unsafe, our principal was fired, our superintendent left, and many great teachers and an excellent assistant principal decided to leave our district and seek employment elsewhere.  I didn't enjoy my job last year.  I had many difficult students who no matter what I did, refused to accept my help and ended up becoming 9th grade repeaters.  It was just not a good year.

But now I am starting a new one.  A breath of fresh air... I hope!

Today was the first official full day of school and I got to know my kids a little bit.  Because I'm young, and many of my students are hormonal 14 and 15 year old boys, I got the usual questions as to whether or not I was single, or if I would consider dating a student.  I also got the inappropriate comments such as "Miss!  So-And-So was just looking at your butt!", or "Damn Miss! You're my teacher?  I could get used to this," while high-fiving his "boys".  Whatever.  I usually respond with, "No, I'm not single, I'm going to be getting married.  But I do have some single teacher friends who I could hook you up with... as long as you're into 65 year old men."  Or something of the sort to embarrass them and shut them up quickly.

All in all, I think I'm going to have a good group this year.  I'll give you a couple of today's anecdotes:

First, during my resource room, my students didn't really have much to work on so I allowed them to either draw or read.  One student, who we'll call Sleepy since all he ever talked about was how much he loved to sleep, decided to be a wise guy and draw a picture of what he sees when he sleeps: he scribbled all over the entire piece of paper with a black pen.  I then took it from him and exclaimed in front of the class that it was a brilliant masterpiece and that I was going to sell it on ebay and make millions off of him.  That's when one of my students, who has Autism and Tourettes and who we will call Gamer since he loves his video games, raised his hand and asked to take a look at "the masterpiece". He stared at it for a good 30 seconds and then looked up at me and said, "You know what?  I really see something here.  I see something through this drawing.  Do you know what I see?"  "No, what do you see Gamer?" I asked enthusiastically.  He motioned for me to come closer, I leaned in, and he whispered into my ear, "I see a penis."  Yeah... that one totally threw me off.  I just took the paper away and said, "Uhh... no I don't think I see that... what's your favorite video game again?"  Note to self: always be on your toes when it comes to Gamer.

The second story I have for you is about one of my students who has extreme OCD when it comes to germs and who I think may also have been recently diagnosed with schizophrenia.  He's scared to touch calculators, pens, and door handles or give any dap or high fives.  He's also only 4 feet tall.  We'll call him Howie (after Howie Mandel).  So today during resource, Howie asked if he could use the bathroom.  Twenty minutes after I had granted him permission to use the throne, I realized that he had never returned.  So I went out in the hall to get one of the security guards to go check on him.  Security came back out and informed me that he wasn't in there.  So as I go into panic mode, since this is the first freakin' day of school and I've already lost a kid, I ask security to sweep the building and put out an all call for him.  Ten minutes later, in comes Howie with a security escort who is barely able to contain his laughter.  I go into the hallway, after letting Howie back into the room, and the security guard informs me that he was found in an upstairs bathroom hiding in a bathroom stall trying to skip my class.  Great.  So I go back into my classroom and explain to Howie that he cannot skip classes.  His response: "Why not?  I did it in the middle school all the time."  I replied that we are now in the high school and that it cannot happen here.  So I ask, "So, from now on you are not going to skip, right?"  His respone: "I dunno.  Maybe."  This one is definitely going to be a handful.

In fact I think the majority of my kids are going to be a handful this year, but I think that they are also going to be goofy and fun for the most part.  **KNOCK ON WOOD**

I'm looking forward to the start of a new year.  I'm working with all new teachers this year, we have a bunch of new administrators, and a whole new batch of students.  Pretty much everything is brand spankin' new.  So I'm just going to remain optimistic!  Wish me luck!

And to all of you new teachers out there, here's my New Teacher Tip of the Day: Remain optimistic and make teacher friends.  They are the only ones who will truly be able to understand you!