Ratatouille...

Today in my social studies class, we were talking about laws.  At one point laws about food came up and then sanitation.  Then the kids began talking about how disgusting our school is because we have mice.  (Yes, every once in a while, one of those little critters will scurry across a classroom.)  At that point, Gamer (my student with autism and tourettes) raised his hand and exclaimed, "Say... if I had a restaurant and there was a mouse inside of it... I would hire him!  I hear they cook great meals!"  It was hilarious.  Happy Friday!

Learning Styles

So today, as I had already stated it would be, was super busy; but also super successful (in my opinion... and quite frankly, that's all that really matters to me).  My meetings in the morning went as smoothly as they could and then, before I knew it, it was time for my first formal observation of the year, which I had been panicking about (as I always do).

The observation took place during my resource period with my entire group of hooligans.  My tutor, who is always with me during that period, was out this week due to a death in the family, so I was flying solo and I was stressing out.  But by the grace of God, the stars seemed to align for me: my biggest problem student, GrandLarceny, had been suspended, so he wasn't in class.  A female student who I really like, but who constantly questions everything that is asked of her was absent.  And then Shoelaces, who is the most disruptive student due to his unmedicated ADHD that I have ever come into contact with, requested to go to the Career Center for the period since he knew that I was going to be observed and claimed that he was, "just going to get [me] in trouble if [he] stayed in the room while that dude was here".  Needless to say, he didn't have to ask me twice.

So the lesson I did was all about the students discovering what type of learner they were (visual, auditory, or kinesthetic) based on eye movement.  The students paired up and took turns asking each other questions.  The student asking the question, tracked the eye movement of the other student by checking off whether the student looked up (visual), to the side (auditory), or down (kinesthetic) when thinking about the answer to their question.  It went really well and the kids actually seemed to enjoy it; especially when I told them that I had done this activity in one of my college courses.  College?!  And they are doing this in the 9th grade?!  OMGAWD THEY ARE SO AWESOME AND MATURE!  Ha ha... right.

We then discussed what ways their different learning styles could be utilized in their classes and how they plan to use this information in the future.  I thought it went great.  Before I knew it, my administrator came over and told me he was leaving and that he'll have my report ready for me tomorrow to sign.  So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and really hoping that he writes me a positive (and literate) report this time.  Last year was rough.  Just click on "Formal Observation" in the labels below to read about my previous experience with this guy.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: "The only sin is if you hear a good idea and don't steal it."  I've made it easy for you to steal this one:

A Few Updates... About My Mustache...

I haven't updated in a while.  Life has been hectic, what can I say?

So let's see, what funny things have happened?  Well here's a few:

Two autistic students approached me during our resource period.  One said: "Miss Anonymous, whose mustache is bigger?"  After a careful inspection I determined that, "They both look pretty similar to me guys!"  The other student examined my face and then said, "Miss Anonymous, I think you have a mustache too!"  Great.  Thanks.

During Language Arts, one of my students yelled out, in the middle of class, "Miss Anonymous!  You are SO slow!  No wonder you became a special ed. teacher!"

And lastly, while discussing the Neolithic Era and what changes came about during that time period, one of my autistic students raised his hand and began talking about the domestication of animals.  He then went on to say, "Humans began to also use animals for food.  For example, they began drinking the sperm of cows."  The social studies teacher quickly interrupted and said, "I think you mean milk.  Humans were drinking the milk of cows."  My student then said, "Well that's what we call it, but it's actually sperm."  Classic.

So that's been my life recently.  Tomorrow is going to be a hectic day.  I have a meeting with my supervisor in the morning, then a meeting with the discipline board about my student who had previously been arrested for grand larceny, and then my first formal observation of the year, with the same idiot from last year.  Ugh.  Wish me luck!

Really...?

Scenario 1:
Student: "Miss... you're getting fat."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Student: "You're getting fat.  Your arms.  They're fat."
Me: "That's an extremely rude thing to say to... anyone!"
Student: "What!?  I'm being serious!  It's not a bad thing!  It's a good thing that you're getting chubby!"

Scenario 2:
Student: *walks across classroom sighing and moaning loudly*
Me: "Is there a reason why you are being so loud right now?"
Student: "Why... what's wrong with you?  Are you hung over or something?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Student: "Are.... you.... hung... over?"
Me: "Is that seriously how you speak to teachers?"
Student: "Yup."

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: The biggest and most difficult obstacle that you are going to run into is bad parenting.  And there is no way around that one.

Let's Talk Transition...

The transition specialist came to speak to my kids today during our resource period.  I'm not quite sure whether or not she felt she got anywhere with them...

Transition Specialist: "What type of job do you think someone who likes to work with their hands would do?"

Student: "Find dead bodies."

Transition Specialist: "..."

Yeah.  Happy Friday.

Goal Incomplete.

Well I didn't reach my goal of enjoying my job today.

Two of my closest friends at work decided to apply elsewhere because they no longer want to work for my district.  They'll be gone and happier at a different district by the end of the school year.  Awesome.

Then one of my students, who we'll call LockUp, told his technology teacher to "Suck my c*ck!" and then, later on in the day, called my tutor a "b*tch" after she had asked him to return to his seat.  I then learned that the reason why LockUp is on probation is because he was arrested for and charged with grand larceny as an adult, after stealing a car.  If he violates his probation, he is looking at a maximum of four years in jail.  So why, do you ask, is he in a public school and not in some sort of alternative program?  I have no idea.

I have no tips for today.  I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed.  I don't know how I'm going to survive this year...

A REAL HIGH FIVE?!

Throughout today I had two different students tell me that they hated me.  But, after having a heart to heart with each of them about what was really going on in their teenage angst ridden lives, they admitted that I was their favorite teacher.  Ha!  I win again.

Also, the behavior point sheets are working like a freakin' miracle with Howie!  He has been absolutely perfect for 3 days straight.  He also actually made CONTACT with my hand during a high five today.  Usually we do air high fives because he doesn't like touching other peoples' hands.  But today, he was so excited with how well he had done, that he gave me an actual high five while screaming about how good he was.  It was awesome.  Today was pretty much the best day I've had since the school year started.

My goal for tomorrow is to try to enjoy my job again.  We'll see how that goes.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: Let your kids know that you care about them, they'll respond in ways you wouldn't expect.