The Hardest Parts...

Over the course of my few years establishing myself as a well-trained special education teacher, I've determined what has made my job the most difficult.  No, it's not the long hours or extensive paperwork, nor is it the low salary with continued budget freezes.  Through my short time here at the beginning of my career, I've narrowed it down to two things: two things that I was never prepared for during my undergraduate or graduate years; two things that are impossible to be prepared for unless you are entirely thrown into it and allowed to experience first hand.  But guess what, folks?  I'm going to give them to you now, free of charge and sans the actual heartbreak you feel having to experience them:

1.)  There are going to be some students who, no matter how much success you feel they have met within the confines of your little building, are going to become more influenced by the big, bad outside world of drug dealing, drug doing, and gang affiliating.

2.)  There are going to be some students who, no matter how much you have done and sacrificed for them (i.e. going to their sports games both in and out of school, buying them supplies that you know their parents can't provide, working one-on-one with them during your only planning time, giving them little trinkets just for showing up to school) will completely disrespect you and tell you straight to your face that they "don't give a sh*t what you've done for [them]."

These are the two things that I have found to be the most difficult to deal with.  Because it's a new year, I'm going to try to just let these things go and focus more on the positive aspects of what I do.  I can't dwell on the things that I cannot change.  And those are two things that, unfortunately, I will never be able to change.

I'll be back tomorrow with two new things: the two things that make my job the best.  That's what I need to focus on for 2012.


Happy New Year.

CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY!

A former student of mine, who is now 16, came to show me her early Christmas present from her father: A nice big tattoo... on her neck.  Nothing says "Please hire me!" like a big ugly neck tattoo!  Oh wait...

Smoking Skunks Get Smacked. And I Just Feel Bad.

Today, a half hour after we had already begun first period, one of my students walked into the classroom backwards and stated aloud, "I woked-ed up late." Now this particular student is not one to draw attention to himself, so I knew something was up right away based on his entrance.  As he made his way over to his seat, I was suddenly taken aback by the disgusting odor that hit me.  Now when the odor first permeated my nasal passage, my mind immediately went to a mental image of this student being attacked by a raging pack of rabid skunks on his way in to school this morning.  But I knew better than that, and I knew that this kid, who we will now call Skunk, had just gotten to school after smoking some skunk weed.  (I'll give you one guess as to why it's called "skunk".)  Almost immediately, the entire room was filled with this stench and the other students began yelling, "I'm gonna be sick!", "Can we open a window?!", "What the f*ck Skunk, you stink!"  It was when another teacher popped his head into the room and stated, "Just a heads up, your room reeks of weed," that I knew it was time to bring Skunk down to his administrator.  So I pulled him out into the hallway and just told him to follow me.  As we were walking, Skunk says to me, "Miss, where are we going?"  I replied with, "Skunk... where do you think we're going?"  That's when he dropped to his knees, put his hands up to his face as if he were praying and began sobbing, "NO MISS PLEASE! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! THIS IS ONLY MY SECOND TIME SMOKING! I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN MISS PLEASE! MY MOTHER WILL KILL ME! LITERALLY! SHE WILL KILL ME! PLEASE!  I'LL DO ANYTHING!"

I felt awful.  I really do like this student and I hated to see him get in trouble, but I really didn't have a choice.  I explained the whole "mandated reporter" thing that goes along with being a teacher and that my job was on the line if I didn't bring him to his administrator, but he just continued to cry and beg me on his knees not to.  He was a mess.  I was a mess.

Once we got down to the administrator's office, he admitted that he still had some weed on him and he took it out. The school resource officer collected the "evidence", but didn't arrest him once Skunk gave up who his "dealer" was.  And it was none other than my golden child from 2 years ago... Sonic.  That totally bummed me out.

The whole situation really just bummed me out.  I felt awful getting this kid in as much trouble as I did, but he really didn't leave me with any other option.  Apparently once his mother got to school, she smacked him really hard across the face... twice... before an administrator had to step in.  I don't even want to imagine what will happen to him tonight when he's home.

I know that what I did today, had to be done.  I just feel awful having done so.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day:  Our job is not easy.

The 2nd Lockdown Of My Career...

Well today marks the second lockdown of my teaching career.  Here's what happened:

A boy called a girl fat.

The girl flipped out.

The girl attempted to punch a teacher.

The girl successfully punched an administrator.

The girl then tried to throw herself out of the second story window.

The girl was then restrained by 5 very large security guards.

The girl then puked all over every single one of the security guards.

Just another day in the life of a high school special education teacher...

Special Ed. Sympathy Cards...

On Thanksgiving Day, the sister of the tutor that I work with passed away after a very long battle with cancer.  So today, during my resource period, I had my students create sympathy cards for her for when she returns to work.

One of my students with autism wrote: "If your sister ate more vegetables, she wouldn't have gotten cancer."

My other student with autism drew a huge picture of a tombstone with "RIP" on the front of the card and on the inside wrote, "Please pray to your sister and tell her I said hi."

Needless to say, I won't be giving all of the cards to her right away...  

Haven't updated in a week because we haven't had school in a week.  Mother Nature decided to rear her hideous head and gave us a snow storm... in October.  And, because all of the leaves were still on all of the trees, all of the branches snapped off of those trees and took down all of the power lines. Which in turn means (you guessed it!) no heat and no electricity for the week either.  It's been awful.  They (being the incompetent electrical company for the state) ended up restoring power to the high school I teach at and the town was able to make it into a shelter.  So yes, this happened, and yes, that is my desk and my stuff:

Now that's what I call... dedication.

Ratatouille...

Today in my social studies class, we were talking about laws.  At one point laws about food came up and then sanitation.  Then the kids began talking about how disgusting our school is because we have mice.  (Yes, every once in a while, one of those little critters will scurry across a classroom.)  At that point, Gamer (my student with autism and tourettes) raised his hand and exclaimed, "Say... if I had a restaurant and there was a mouse inside of it... I would hire him!  I hear they cook great meals!"  It was hilarious.  Happy Friday!

Learning Styles

So today, as I had already stated it would be, was super busy; but also super successful (in my opinion... and quite frankly, that's all that really matters to me).  My meetings in the morning went as smoothly as they could and then, before I knew it, it was time for my first formal observation of the year, which I had been panicking about (as I always do).

The observation took place during my resource period with my entire group of hooligans.  My tutor, who is always with me during that period, was out this week due to a death in the family, so I was flying solo and I was stressing out.  But by the grace of God, the stars seemed to align for me: my biggest problem student, GrandLarceny, had been suspended, so he wasn't in class.  A female student who I really like, but who constantly questions everything that is asked of her was absent.  And then Shoelaces, who is the most disruptive student due to his unmedicated ADHD that I have ever come into contact with, requested to go to the Career Center for the period since he knew that I was going to be observed and claimed that he was, "just going to get [me] in trouble if [he] stayed in the room while that dude was here".  Needless to say, he didn't have to ask me twice.

So the lesson I did was all about the students discovering what type of learner they were (visual, auditory, or kinesthetic) based on eye movement.  The students paired up and took turns asking each other questions.  The student asking the question, tracked the eye movement of the other student by checking off whether the student looked up (visual), to the side (auditory), or down (kinesthetic) when thinking about the answer to their question.  It went really well and the kids actually seemed to enjoy it; especially when I told them that I had done this activity in one of my college courses.  College?!  And they are doing this in the 9th grade?!  OMGAWD THEY ARE SO AWESOME AND MATURE!  Ha ha... right.

We then discussed what ways their different learning styles could be utilized in their classes and how they plan to use this information in the future.  I thought it went great.  Before I knew it, my administrator came over and told me he was leaving and that he'll have my report ready for me tomorrow to sign.  So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and really hoping that he writes me a positive (and literate) report this time.  Last year was rough.  Just click on "Formal Observation" in the labels below to read about my previous experience with this guy.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: "The only sin is if you hear a good idea and don't steal it."  I've made it easy for you to steal this one:

A Few Updates... About My Mustache...

I haven't updated in a while.  Life has been hectic, what can I say?

So let's see, what funny things have happened?  Well here's a few:

Two autistic students approached me during our resource period.  One said: "Miss Anonymous, whose mustache is bigger?"  After a careful inspection I determined that, "They both look pretty similar to me guys!"  The other student examined my face and then said, "Miss Anonymous, I think you have a mustache too!"  Great.  Thanks.

During Language Arts, one of my students yelled out, in the middle of class, "Miss Anonymous!  You are SO slow!  No wonder you became a special ed. teacher!"

And lastly, while discussing the Neolithic Era and what changes came about during that time period, one of my autistic students raised his hand and began talking about the domestication of animals.  He then went on to say, "Humans began to also use animals for food.  For example, they began drinking the sperm of cows."  The social studies teacher quickly interrupted and said, "I think you mean milk.  Humans were drinking the milk of cows."  My student then said, "Well that's what we call it, but it's actually sperm."  Classic.

So that's been my life recently.  Tomorrow is going to be a hectic day.  I have a meeting with my supervisor in the morning, then a meeting with the discipline board about my student who had previously been arrested for grand larceny, and then my first formal observation of the year, with the same idiot from last year.  Ugh.  Wish me luck!

Really...?

Scenario 1:
Student: "Miss... you're getting fat."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Student: "You're getting fat.  Your arms.  They're fat."
Me: "That's an extremely rude thing to say to... anyone!"
Student: "What!?  I'm being serious!  It's not a bad thing!  It's a good thing that you're getting chubby!"

Scenario 2:
Student: *walks across classroom sighing and moaning loudly*
Me: "Is there a reason why you are being so loud right now?"
Student: "Why... what's wrong with you?  Are you hung over or something?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Student: "Are.... you.... hung... over?"
Me: "Is that seriously how you speak to teachers?"
Student: "Yup."

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: The biggest and most difficult obstacle that you are going to run into is bad parenting.  And there is no way around that one.

Let's Talk Transition...

The transition specialist came to speak to my kids today during our resource period.  I'm not quite sure whether or not she felt she got anywhere with them...

Transition Specialist: "What type of job do you think someone who likes to work with their hands would do?"

Student: "Find dead bodies."

Transition Specialist: "..."

Yeah.  Happy Friday.

Goal Incomplete.

Well I didn't reach my goal of enjoying my job today.

Two of my closest friends at work decided to apply elsewhere because they no longer want to work for my district.  They'll be gone and happier at a different district by the end of the school year.  Awesome.

Then one of my students, who we'll call LockUp, told his technology teacher to "Suck my c*ck!" and then, later on in the day, called my tutor a "b*tch" after she had asked him to return to his seat.  I then learned that the reason why LockUp is on probation is because he was arrested for and charged with grand larceny as an adult, after stealing a car.  If he violates his probation, he is looking at a maximum of four years in jail.  So why, do you ask, is he in a public school and not in some sort of alternative program?  I have no idea.

I have no tips for today.  I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed.  I don't know how I'm going to survive this year...

A REAL HIGH FIVE?!

Throughout today I had two different students tell me that they hated me.  But, after having a heart to heart with each of them about what was really going on in their teenage angst ridden lives, they admitted that I was their favorite teacher.  Ha!  I win again.

Also, the behavior point sheets are working like a freakin' miracle with Howie!  He has been absolutely perfect for 3 days straight.  He also actually made CONTACT with my hand during a high five today.  Usually we do air high fives because he doesn't like touching other peoples' hands.  But today, he was so excited with how well he had done, that he gave me an actual high five while screaming about how good he was.  It was awesome.  Today was pretty much the best day I've had since the school year started.

My goal for tomorrow is to try to enjoy my job again.  We'll see how that goes.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: Let your kids know that you care about them, they'll respond in ways you wouldn't expect.

This Pencil Isn't Sharp Enough...

While in the middle of a meeting today, I got a phone call from one of the technology teachers who stated, "I have Howie down here and he is refusing to do his work.  He just threw the worksheet I gave him onto the ground and then ripped it up... with his feet."  Awesome way to start my morning.  So I had him send Howie down to me.  Once he arrived at my office, I asked him what had happened.  He explained that the work that was given to him was too difficult, so he blew it off of his desk and then ripped it up with his feet.  Never touched it once with his hands.  Impressive.  So I went over the alternatives to his reactions and explained how he should have raised his hand and asked for help blah, blah, blah...

So at the conclusion of my small lecture, I decided that it'd probably be best for Howie if I put him onto a behavior point sheet.  I then let him know that if he earns enough points for good behavior, he'll be rewarded with computer time during our resource period.  He got all excited and exclaimed, "Hey I know!  How about I start doing my work now then?"  Great!  So we got some assignments together and he began working.  The only problem was that he likes to use pencils.  But he can only write with a pencil when the tip is as sharp as humanly possible.  So every few minutes or so, he got up, walked over to the electric pencil sharpener and sharpened his pencil.  After about 20 minutes, he asked me for a new pencil because this is what it looked like... after only 20 minutes:

Needless to say, #4 on his behavior checklist is: "Sharpened pencil no more than two times during the class period."

New Teacher Tip Of The Day: Behavior point sheets are your friend.

**SIDE NOTE**

Open House was tonight and I met Howie's mother... everything about him made sense the second I spotted her and she began to speak... I'll just leave it at that...

Apparently I Look Like A Homeless Person... But Only While I Work...

Last week I told Shoelace that if he promised to take his medication for ADHD on Monday, I would go to his church's softball tournament on Saturday.  He agreed and made me pinky promise him I'd be there on Saturday.  (I never break my pinky promises!)  So when Saturday morning came around, I rolled out of bed and dragged my fiancee with me to the park to watch him play.  When we arrived, we realized that we were #1 the only white people and #2 the only people there who did not speak Spanish.  Even the announcer over the loud speakers was announcing every play in Spanish!  We both felt totally out of our element, but we ended up having so much fun!  It was really cool to see how Shoelace interacted outside of school with members of his family and church.  He was also so excited to see that I had actually showed up to see his game.  His team ended up losing (pretty miserably), but I could tell that he had a lot of fun and that he really appreciated that we had actually gone.

So today, when I saw Shoelace first period, he thanked me again for going to his game over the weekend and then asked me why I dress so nice when I'm out of work.  Confused, I asked him what he meant.  He replied, "Miss, you looked so pretty at my game and you had on nice clothes.  But here at school you come to work wearing that stuff [points to my work clothes] and you look like a bum."

When I went to Shoelace's game, I literally rolled out of bed, climbed in my car, and bought a cup of coffee to look somewhat alive.  I was wearing leggings, boots, a giant t-shirt, and a hoodie.  I also hadn't showered and my hair was a hot mess, so I wore a baseball cap.  Today at work, I was wearing gray slacks, a nice black sweater, and my hair was pulled back.  But according to Shoelace, I looked like a bum!!!

So on top of unintentionally insulting me, he ended up being too distracted at home this morning to remember to take his meds.  So he was off the wall all day long.  Needless to say, it was exhausting.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day:  You can't always rely on your students to keep their promises, but you have to make sure to never break the ones that you make.  For many students, you are the only adult in their life that they know they can count on.

Journal Entry:

I have my students journal for 10 minutes at the beginning of each of our resource periods.  I then read their entries and respond back to them in their journals.  They never cease to amaze me...

In response to my question, How are you liking high school so far?:

"Is good you feel me
I like the fat girls out there I like
when they bitchy
I like when they look like rasputtia I think
they're so freaking sexy"

I'm so pleased to hear that he is enjoying his time with us so far.  Oh and just in case you aren't familiar with who Rasputia is, here's a picture for you:

Things That Actual Students Have Said To Me This Week:

"B*tch, who do you think you're talking to?!"

"I'll sit down... after I finish my conversation."

"I'm not being disrespectful... I'm being rude.  There's a difference."

"Shut up!"

We had all been told that this year's ninth graders were going to be a tough group, but these kids really have taken it to a whole new level.  We even prepared for this year by creating an alternative team for the students who we knew, based on the data we received from the middle school, were going to be a problem.  The quotes that I just gave to you were said by students who weren't "bad" enough to make it onto the alternative team.  So yeah.  This is going to be a long year.  Maybe even longer than last year...

Quote of the Day:

"Miss Anonymous, you're my favorite teacher, but I hate your class."  Cool.  Thanks.

No One Will Want A Detention With Me Ever Again...

My students were awful today and a group of three boys ended up serving a detention with me after school.  During that detention, a teacher friend of mine (who is 39 weeks pregnant) came in to chit chat with me.  While in my office, her water broke all over the floor, gushing down her legs and soaking her pants.

Needless to say, I doubt those boys will ever want to serve a detention with me again.  Lesson learned.

Scary Senior Sisters...

Well as today came to an end, I thought to myself, "Hmm... nothing blog worthy really happened today."  I clearly had spoken too soon.

With 20 minutes left to the school day, a male student called one of my female students a whore.  So she did what any misguided 14 year old girl would do: punched him square in the face.  He then instantly took out his phone and began texting his older, larger, scarier sisters.

So as I'm sitting with RightHook down in the administrator's office taking her statement, I hear the boy's sisters storm into the office at the opposite end and begin screaming that they "want to see what this b*tch looks like".  So I take RightHook into a different room and close the door behind us as she begins to weep and say, "MISS DON'T LET THEM GET ME! I'M SCARED!"  I kept reassuring her that she had nothing to worry about, but let's be honest here, I was about to poop my pants as well.  I didn't actually see the other girls, but they sounded scary... and very large.

So the administrator comes into the room that we're in as security holds back the sisters, and tells me that he wants me to escort RightHook to the main office on the other side of the building where her mother is going to pick her up.  Great.  So as we walk into the hallway, one of my security guard buddies comes up to me and tells me that the girls are trying to find her and that I need to take an alternative route to the main office to try to avoid them.  He then goes over the walkie-talkies and tells all of security to be on alert for two girls wearing grey sweatpants.  As we walked to the other end of the building, I flinched and nearly pooped my pants every time I saw a big hispanic girl with grey sweatpants.  Luckily, we made it there safe and sound and I waited with her until her mother, who was not pleased at all, came to get her.  On Monday I'll learn what RightHook's fate was, I'm assuming administration will make their decision over the weekend as to how long she'll be suspended for.

New Teacher Tip Of The Day:  Don't show fear.  Poop your pants in silence.